Josephine's Birthday Gift

This is the doll that I made for Jo's birthday. I really loved making her. Her neck is too loose and I want to make another one right away to try to attach the head a different way. Making the hair way my favorite part. I couldn't find an online tutorial that I loved so I sortof made it up. I made a 'cap' for her like you would crochet a hat. The sewed that to her head and wove individual strands of wool yarn into it. It took forever and I am so proud. I think that handmade things are meant to be imperfect and the most important bit is that Jo loves her little doll and she's already brought us so much joy.

Long Days

I would like to start by not apologizing for not posting in a while. I am blogging without obligation and I know that other mums will understand anyway.



A nomad friend of mine, Stephanie, has started a blog about her hitching, farming, exploring trip around the country. I am struck by how different it is from my blog. And, of course, how different her life is from my own. Her life is a picture in motion and travel. My life is so often about stillness, sameness. Who was it that said about parenting, "The days are long but the years are short"? That is exactly what it feels like. Some days, and nights in particular, drag on and on and on. And yet here we are, one year down. The first year of my daughters life has slipped past unceremoniously. One long, nodescript day rolling into another.
Sometimes I am jealous of my friend's ability to move easily about the country not responsible to anyone but herself. She describes a day on the "loneliest road in America" and I think of how I long for, if not loneliness, at least 'alone-ness'. I gave blood last week and was delighted to be able to lay down for 15 minutes and not have to take care of anything or anyone. Giving blood was a treat! That's something only full-time moms could understand, I think.
Even as I envy women with more freedom and less obligation, I know that my own life is enviable. People look at me and long for family like me. I am rooted here, in a community. I am responsible, not just for my family but for my town, my state, my country. I cannot just get up and leave which forces me to change my world to more and more resemble the world that I want it to be. For my daughter, too.
And Josephine. I have Josephine and I know just how blessed I am and how many people wish for what I have. The short years and the long days.

Motherhood Is Hard

Mothering is hard. In other news: Water still wet. I know, this is an obvious statement and it's nothing that hasn't been written about/blogged about/talked about before. But really, it's tough. I find it emotionally more difficult than I ever could have imagined. My daughter, who I adore, need, need, needs me. All. The. Time. She is very social and enjoys other people but when she is upset, tired, sick or just having a rough time, she only wants me. Not my husband or my mother, who generally offer amazing support, but me.

I remember when she was itty-bitty, four weeks or so, and I so longed for some sign that she recognized me. I would search for recognition in her eyes when I picked her up, I hoped that she might stop crying because I was holding her, but she didn't.

Now I know that she knows me. I try to be mindful of it, to enjoy and appreciate it, even as the childcare staff at the YMCA is pulling me out of my workout again.

Road Trip

I want to share this wonderful picture I took on the three hour drive up to Acadia National Park. My husband, daughter, and boxer, Tesla, and I went up for 3 days for our wedding anniversary. As usual, we had some of our best times on the drive. How my idea of a 'road trip' has changed from when I was younger.

Sitting down to dinner

One unexpected benifit of Josephine starting solids has been that I get to sit down to eat dinner, too. A formality generally reserved for the weekends when my husband is home, it's been nice to take the time to enjoy food with my little one. Here she is 'eating' (ok, playing with) peas. And my favorite dinner: farmers market veggies sautaed with very, very spicy salsa. Yummmm.

Easy Home-made Granola Bars

I always keep granola bars in my car for emergency hunger. (Which happens a lot when you are breastfeeding!) It can be tough to stop and get out when you have a little one (finally) asleep in the carseat and the other option, drive-through, isn't good for anyone.
Unfortunately, granola bars themselves have lately become just health-nut candy bars and expensive ones at that. (I am also not convinced that there really should be over 20 ingredients in a granola bar. What is 'natural flavor' anyway?)
So, like with so much else in my life, the thing to do seams to be a switch to homemade. I was surprised at how easy these were to make and REALLY tasty! Much better than store-bought! Enjoy!

I got the inspiration for these from MotherEarth news here. But here's my own spin on it:


Ingredients:
3 cups rolled oats (I guess instant could work)
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup honey (the MotherEarth version also uses sugar, but I found it to be almost too sweet with just honey. I might put even less next time.)
1/2 cup chunky peanut butter (the only ingredient should be 'peanuts'!)
1 cup raisins
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Spread the oats on a baking sheet and, once preheated, bake them in the oven for about 20 minutes.
While that's cooking, heat the butter, honey and peanut butter in a saucepan on low heat and let it simmer while the oats toast. Like so:

Pull the oats out of the oven and stir in raisins.

Take the honey mixture off the heat and add the vanilla. Then pour the hot liquid over the oats and stir until it's well covered. Push this down into a greased pan and then back in the oven for another 20 minutes. That's it! Wait until they are cool to cut them up.

Advetures in Babyproofing

See those shoes, dvds and books back there? Oh, yeah, they're not safe.

The fact that I haven't been spending much time online the last two weeks can be explained partially by the unseasonably warm Maine weather but, more importantly, by Josephine's new found crawly ability! She had been moving herself around quite well for a while but just hadn't been able to move arm and leg together in a forward motion. Well, those days are over. Not only can she now crawl, (and fast!), she can also pull herself up on furniture, people or walls and walk around as long as she is holding on to something. The speed with which she learns and changes has always amazed me. But this has changed my life.

Nothing is safe anymore. If it is within her reach- she will pull on it, put it in her mouth or try to climb up it. We have gated off everything that we can, but in the end the easiest, safest, sanest thing to do is just get rid of stuff. So I have been packing up things we don't use, giving away things we don't need and generally continuing our 'downsizing' journey. And then sometimes, it's just better to get out of the house and play outside!