Love List

I'm inspired this week by Kris Carr's wonderful CrazySexyLife blog. Here's my list of what I've been thankful for this week, what's yours?


1. My mother. I know, I know, it's cliche, but I am! This week my mom watched Josephine at her house while I took my dog to obedience class. There was a tornado warning- yes tornado here in Maine, and my mom took my daughter in a wrap into the bathroom with her flashlight and life jacket. Like a boyscout she wanted to be prepared so nothing happened to our little Josephine. How sweet is that?

Note: The tornado didn't touch down near us and the thunderstorm passed us by without doing major damage. Which I'm also thankful for.



2. Fudgsicles. Yep, oldtimey ones that come by in an ice cream truck. That darn thing comes by my house at least once a day all summer long. This week I was having a rough time right when I heard that song, "Ba da da ta da ta da ta...." After rushing around for my wallet (while Papa Bear was saying, "Are you serious?) I ran outside and waved that truck down like a 2nd grader. Yum-o.

3. Free-to-the-public places like libraries and playgrounds. (Thank you, women's movement.) Sometimes, ok often, with a toddler my house is just too small and we need to get OUT. These places let Jo move and let me see her in a different space and a new light without stressing about her safety. I can just enjoy her and let her be herself. (Which I think she enjoys, too.)

Make your own list!

p.s I'm also thankful for the 'save post' feature on blogger. This post was originally called, 'Thankful Thursdays", but I'm just finishing it now and it's no longer Thursday.

Motherhood Is Hard

Mothering is hard. In other news: Water still wet. I know, this is an obvious statement and it's nothing that hasn't been written about/blogged about/talked about before. But really, it's tough. I find it emotionally more difficult than I ever could have imagined. My daughter, who I adore, need, need, needs me. All. The. Time. She is very social and enjoys other people but when she is upset, tired, sick or just having a rough time, she only wants me. Not my husband or my mother, who generally offer amazing support, but me.

I remember when she was itty-bitty, four weeks or so, and I so longed for some sign that she recognized me. I would search for recognition in her eyes when I picked her up, I hoped that she might stop crying because I was holding her, but she didn't.

Now I know that she knows me. I try to be mindful of it, to enjoy and appreciate it, even as the childcare staff at the YMCA is pulling me out of my workout again.

Advetures in Babyproofing

See those shoes, dvds and books back there? Oh, yeah, they're not safe.

The fact that I haven't been spending much time online the last two weeks can be explained partially by the unseasonably warm Maine weather but, more importantly, by Josephine's new found crawly ability! She had been moving herself around quite well for a while but just hadn't been able to move arm and leg together in a forward motion. Well, those days are over. Not only can she now crawl, (and fast!), she can also pull herself up on furniture, people or walls and walk around as long as she is holding on to something. The speed with which she learns and changes has always amazed me. But this has changed my life.

Nothing is safe anymore. If it is within her reach- she will pull on it, put it in her mouth or try to climb up it. We have gated off everything that we can, but in the end the easiest, safest, sanest thing to do is just get rid of stuff. So I have been packing up things we don't use, giving away things we don't need and generally continuing our 'downsizing' journey. And then sometimes, it's just better to get out of the house and play outside!

Expert-Mom

As a guilty pleasure I read Redbook when Josephine is sleeping. One of their recurring features is "Mommy Strategies" where mom 'experts' give advice for common mom problems. After the advice, which is generally very good, there is a description of the mom like: "Jane, 32 Portland Maine". More and more as I read them I notice that their ages are closer to mine. In fact, some experts are even younger than me. With just one young child, like me. It's odd but Could I somehow be considered a 'mom expert'? I had a feeling it was possible when I started to find myself giving advice to pregnant women in the grocery store when they stop to coo at Josephine.

I spend a good deal of my time still feeling so lost. Feeling like I need some guidance at this mothering business from someone who knows what she is doing. But really, at least to those pregnant women, I am an expert. With the problems that come with children under 9-months at least, so far.

Leave Josephine's binky alone.

Here on Papa Bear's shoulders.

Don't mess with my daughter's pacifier. Please, I know that her 'plug' obscures her smile. Yes, I know that she'll probably still be sucking it when she's 4 years old, walking and talking with it sticking out of her mouth. Thanks, but I'm not worried about her overbite. No, I don't think that she needs to learn to comfort herself without assistance. And no, it doesn't interfere with our nursing relationship. (We didn't give her one until she was 4 weeks.)

Is it bad for her to be comforted? Is it wrong that she sleeps longer? That I am not the only one who can get her to sleep? Mothering isn't about making it as hard as possible for mothers. You can't tell how well you are doing, as a mother, by how much you are 'sacrificing'. I think it's ok to use things that make my life easier. Particularly when those things also make my daughter cry less in her carseat.

Here she is again, in a wrap, with her binky.

Don't Distract Them!

I took Josephine to the doctor by myself this week and, like the slacker-mom that I am, forgot to bring any toys or distractions. So we had to sit in the waiting room with nothing to do. Instead of being bored or fussy though, Josephine started climbing on me and examining the chair I was sitting on and the window behind me. She didn't need to be 'distracted' or entertained. She was entertained enough by her own simple curiosity. I realized that she would have been missing out if I had remembered some toys for her. And I would have missed out on something too.

I am trying to remember now that children learn more, enjoy more and explore more when we don't force stimulation on them so much. Even AP parents who don't use tv or battery-powered toys are still too often quick to shake noisemakers in their face or try to settle them with rhymes or stories. I will try to relax more and let Josephine entertain me.


Here she is with one of her favorite "toys": my phone.

What great things have you learned from your children once you gave them a chance to teach you?